The Invitation to Become Grand

Ruby turned six today.  My first grandchild.  Naturally, I've been remembering the day she was born.  All four grandparents-to-be were hanging out all week at a Berkeley bed and breakfast; Emily’s waters had broken and she didn’t go into actual labor for a number of days.  Such a rite of passage, of course for the baby and for her parents, but for all of us.  For Barry and me particularly, being first-time grandparents.  I hadn’t thought about it that way until this morning. Becoming a grandparent is not something we usually ritualize or commemorate; we aren’t the point, after all.  The child and the parents are the point.  I can remember when I visited my parents with Max, my firstborn, for the first time.  I felt that my mother finally treated me as an adult, even though I was 26 years old.

It’s not necessarily about being an elder, either, as many become grandparents at a much younger age than we did. But what becoming a grandparent truly offers is an invitation to become Grand.  My etymology dictionary says that grand comes from the Latin “grandis,” meaning “big, great, full, abundant,” and connoting “noble, sublime, lofty, dignity.”  That’s a lot to live up to.

We all know the benefits of grandparenthood – having the fun without having to be the disciplinarian or having the 24/7 responsibilities.  It’s just a matter of holding a heart full of love 24/7.

Here is my SoulCollage® card I call “The Grand Mother.”  A grandmother is connected to the Grand Mother, She who holds the world in her arms.  This isn’t big news or a fabulous insight on my part; only an acknowledgement of what this precious child (and her little sister and cousin) have given me and a reminder of what my job is.

Shortly after Ruby was born, this poem came.  It makes me happy to remember it today.

Honu* 

Little honu,

swimming her way to shore

on the full moon’s tide.

We have scooped her up

and held her next

to our hearts,

each one of us.

Blessed is the mother

who labors to bear the child.

Blessed is the one

who protects so fiercely.

Blessed is the father

who attends to the mother

and who welcomes his child.

Blessed are the grandparents

who dream the baby

into the world and

add pairs of helping hands.

Blessed are the uncles and aunts

who fall in love

at first sight.

Blessed is the baby

who give us hope.

For a week we

lived in a bubble

outside of time.

Only birth and death

drop us into that place.

The outside world

disappears in

irrelevance.

A long waiting week

it was.

The two, never

losing faith, never

wavering,

surrounded by light,

held in many hearts.

So many hours, so

many long nights.

Then, suddenly,

she is here; the

word came,

she is here.

The world has

waited eons

for her.

Her gifts, yet

to be revealed,

unique on the earth,

may be exactly

what is needed

to save us all -

little honu,

so recently surfacing

from the seas of

the other world.

* honu = the Hawaiian word for sea turtle