A New Poem: Forgiveness

 

A New Poem: Forgiveness

Tomorrow I head into the double-dose chemo of round 6 (second of four potential rounds post-surgery).  This past week ("chemo lite" week as I call it) has been relatively easy, but I know starting next Saturday I'll be feeling it.  Nothing easy about this, as you know.  I'm just grateful that the air has been breathable, that I've been quite able to go for walks and to eat well (even if everything tastes weird and bitter), that I've had family around me and friends in contact, that I have a good home to live in.  It helps to feel gratitude in these difficult times.  My inner experience is pretty much in line with the outer experience of life in this chaos.

Forgiveness

My body 

did not betray me.

I am in need

of forgiveness, and

who I must forgive

is myself.

Meting out judgments

harsh and punishing,

I found a culprit 

to blame - the body

I've never rested easily in,

that never has lived up to

my required standards.

I've had so little tenderness

for its failings and foibles -

the belly wrinkled

from pregnancy,

the young girl's

awkward height,

the invisible issues

of the blood.

What I want 

is to cradle

my body-self and say,

"Shh!  It is all right.

You are loved."

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A New Poem: Forgiveness

Tomorrow I head into the double-dose chemo of round 6 (second of four potential rounds post-surgery).  This past week ("chemo lite"...