Waiting is a funny thing. There’s so much to do, and yet there’s not much I can do yet.
We bought our duplex. Finally! Escrow closed last Friday. But the sellers are renting back for a week or two until their new apartment is ready, and so we’re still here in ours. Don’t get me wrong - I like it here. I will miss College Avenue and Elmwood. It has been a comfy, interesting place to be. But I so want to move and get settled. And until we can get the foundation work completed, I’ll probably continue being a little nervous. When I say it needs foundation work, I’m not kidding – and it’s on a hillside. Maybe buying this house doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, really, but we like it. We just need to get it fixed. And make it ours. That’s what I look forward to, making it ours.
So, all those places you need to change address and/or service for – can’t do any of that until we know for sure when the former owners will be out. I know, I know, I need to be patient for a little while longer. And we do have our Day of the Dead ritual coming up this Saturday, which will take a lot of time and energy. I thought about starting to pack, but the apartment (or as Ruby says, the “parpanent”) is so small I’m not sure where I could put the boxes.
The good news is we’ve really gotten used to living in a small space, so even though the duplex is definitely downsizing from Bay Road, it’s upsizing from here!
I went to Spiral Dance this year for the first time in a number of years. The spiral dance itself is wonderful, and the altars were great. I think I am done with it, though (even if Barry isn’t). I never got pulled in to the ritual, and I miss the old music that they’ve scrapped. Fortunately, there are many other options around here for observing the Day of the Dead, including our own.
I am very grateful for my Monday evening women’s meditation group and for my Wednesday evening Song Circles with Jennifer Berezan. They are both helping me stay sane and giving me times to breathe and settle into myself. Both have a Buddhist flavor to them, and I am appreciating the emphasis on softening around whatever feelings are arising. And also on being kinder to myself. I caught myself getting really pissed off yesterday when I realized I was falling into my usual fear state, but I was actually able to chill out on the negative self-talk. Small victories are good, I guess.