Monday, July 16, 2012

I don't know! Who knows?

I was just sitting on my couch talking on the phone to a friend when I noticed a hawk was sitting on the roof of the cottage.  It was a good-sized one, too.  That kind of thing doesn’t happen very often around here.  Maybe it’s an omen!

This morning Barry brought in my SoulCollage® stuff (stored in the shed, of course, since our house is staged and stripped down) so I could make a card to celebrate an important someone in my life.  After I put that one together, I figured while I’ve got materials out, why not make another card?  Usually, it’s so much more fun to make cards in a group, but I’ve also made quite a few on my own.  What I love about the process is that it accesses something other than your conscious mind.  In other words, often you don’t know what you’ve created until after the card is complete.  I didn’t have an idea in mind – I just let myself to be drawn to the images.

Here is a photo of the card I made today, and this is what it says to me:

I am one who is in a fierce dance with the unknown.  I am caught in a wild wind, blown about until I am confused about where I am or where I should be.  I cannot even tell what is real and what isn’t.  I would love to be able to sort things out, to see the pattern, to understand where I am and what I need to do.  But…. I don’t know, and I don’t know who does.   I don’t know!  I don’t know!  That is my mantra right now.  I don’t know.  Do you know?  Who knows?

Today, for some reason, I’m not depressed about this.  It sounds depressing to me when I read it, but I’m okay – for now – in my not knowing. 

I am figuring out how to dance this fierce dance, even if it’s while sitting in my chair.

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